I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
