Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Randomize
