just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
