Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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