Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
