Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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