there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
