The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
