Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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