You're my little dorito
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
