the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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