your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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