i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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