I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
