I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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