hotel room ftw
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
