Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Mom said you looked used
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
