Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
