I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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