ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
