if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
