There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
