You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
