party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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