Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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