I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
