I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
