i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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