Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize