Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
