i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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