i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
