when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize
