no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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