I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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