your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
