Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
