Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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