i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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