One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
