I smell stomach acid.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
