Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
