too bad you live with your parents still
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
