My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
