I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
