bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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