No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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