I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
