Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
