you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
