Christians are straight up FREAKS
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
