yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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